Speech #1000089246

BUT NOT Too HARD (By Gary Lee) Moscow. Sept. 9.-Since a Soviet official called Monday to tell Josef Begun he could leave for the West. his activist friend and wouldbe emigre Naur Meiman has stayed closed to the telephone in his apartment here. In the past two days. there have been 18 calls. all from friends. but none from the visa office. Meiman denies that he is waiting for word from Soviet authorities granting him permission to leave. At 76. after 12 years of rejection of his applications to emigrate. he feels he has passed the phase of anxious expectation. "If a man is always caught in a time of hope and waiting. it destroys him." he said. leaning back in his rocking chair. And yet. when the telephone rang. he Jumped up anxiously. It was another friend. In a year when the emigration of Soviet Jews has increased sharply. including many who have battled for up to 15 years to leave for the West or for Israel. Meiman is among the oldest of the Soviets still waiting for approval to live aboard. His case symbolizes the plight of those who have not been selected. the socalled refuseniks whose applications are rejected amid official Soviet promises that emigration will increase under Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachevs reforms. Of all the hardships endured by Soviet dissidents who fight to leave the country. including the loss of jobs and sometimes imprisonment. Meimans 12year vigil seems punctuated by the most bitter experiences. During his long wait. some of his closest friends and family members. including his only child. have departed. This year brought the harshest blowthe death of his wife Inna in Washington. D.C.. only three weeks after she won a long battle to emigrate. Most of Meimans friends were swept out of the country in one or another of the emigration waves that have ebbed and flowed over the past two decades. emigration has diminished greatly in recent years from a peak of more than 50.000 in 1979. A founding member of the Helsinki Watch. the unofficial group of Soviet activities who monitor their governments human rights record. Meiman was close to other members including Natan Shcharansky and Yuri Olov. Both men were taken from prison last year and flown to the West. "We were all in the house and the struggle together." Meiman said. "When they left. part of me left." With the imminent departure of friends like Begun. who received permission on Monday to emigrate after 16 years of waiting. Meimans group of friends nearly will have vanished. "The circle has gotten smaller." he said in an interview. "I am practically alone in it now." By far the most excruciating experience in his 12 years of waiting. however. was the period between 1983 and last winter when his wife. dying slowly of cancer. fought a long battle to go abroad for medical treatment. "I cannot explain what she went through for the last two years." he said. "It gave me deep physical pain just to be with her. A human being is not supposed to bear those kinds of things." When a plea by former senator Gary Hart to Gorbachev finally brought results last December. it was too late.